Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Olympic update: day 6

We apologize for our earlier technical problems, but we are back to bring you a super-compressed update from the International Broadcast Center in Torino, though it could easily be anywhere, because it's the same news set that nearly every news show on the face of the planet uses. (I wonder if they all time-share?)

First up, we'd like to say again that Michelle Kwan pulled her groin. We'll be repeating this, as well as shots of her crying and shots of her looking in pain, regularly, so that we have an excuse to play some of the reels of soft-focus human-interest crap that we put together about her. Frankly, we here at the International Broadcast Center are feeling pretty screwed by this, because what are we going to fill our updates with now? Sure, there's a lot of sports going on out there, but what use is that without soft-focus human-interest stories. Instead, we will attempt to interview other skaters who repeatedly ask us to go away, because we're just that hard-hitting in our search for the news.

Now our update on Chialea's quest for Olympic Gold. As we can see, she has completed her long program by knitting the body of her sweater. She has chosen not to pick up points by matching the stripes in the yarn, in fact she has chosen to accent the irregularity of the striping by making it more irregular. Under this new system, she will not gain as many points for that trick, but may pick some up on the skill of execution. Let's watch that again in slow motion.

This is the sort of technique we usually only see in experienced knitters. In fact, Chialea has never performed this technique before tonight. It's this sort of choice that really makes a difference; grafting the shoulders would result in a half-stich offset in her ribbing. Shot of diagrams from Elizabeth Zimmerman's Knitting Without Tears.

What's next for this Olympic athelete? She is training to compete in the scarf event with Malabrigo in Mystery purple. This girl is really pushing the sport forward by doing moves that the men do. Still, she's her daddy's little girl.

fade to soft-focus... many bored-looking shots of our competitor and her family...
We'd just like to note that a woman can be at the top of her sport, one of the most proficient altheletes in it that has ever lived, regardless of gender, and we can still call her girl and just a little sister repeatedly on television, in between calling other competitors men and comparing her to them instead of talking about what she's actually doing.
return to invisible, disembodied commentators who persist in calling 14 degrees F "warm"

In a surprise move, Chialea and Krista have recieved some brand-new yarn. A knitter's materials are so important, there are a huge number of specialists who manage them, helping the knitter to choose the correct materials for the conditions. We'll continue to talk about this for days, just so we can speculate about some of our media darlings. This yarn is for the sock event for both Chialea and Krista. It's an unusual design for sock yarn, I think I see Artyarns Supermerino in 108, 123, and 126. Bold choices, all of these. I even, why yes, I see some Jo Sharp DK Wool. I think we'll see more details about this yarn in the coming days.

From the International Broadcast Center in Torino, Michelle Kwan pulled her groin, and good night.

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